A good relationship, butterflies and fireworks – sound magical? However, it isn’t as easy as it may seem, especially after you’ve known each other for a while, and the honeymoon’s over. You are required to make a few changes here and there as you go.
But what exactly is it that you must do in order to keep your relationship alive? Fret not! We’ve compiled a complete guide for you, with a few subtle tricks from top-notch relationship experts.
So, let’s dive in.
Invite your partner on a date
Recreate the feeling of anticipation by inviting each other on fun, playful dates. Never be too busy to take a little time out for your SO. It does make a difference.
“Even if you’re just eating takeout food at home, improve the atmosphere with candles, china, and silverware. Serve your partner like a guest (Tina B. Tessina, a psychotherapist)”.
Show appreciation to your partner
After a few years into the relationship, you may start taking each other for granted. Don’t forget to appreciate each other, even if it’s just a simple ‘thank you’ ‘I love you’.
“Express gratitude toward your partner for who they are and what they do. Gratitude works wonders for both the giver and receiver. It can drastically improve how you both feel about each other and can strengthen the bond of a relationship (Dr. Catherine Jackson)”.
Check in with each other during the day
Checking in on each other makes a huge difference since you’re showing them that they’re on your mind. Just send a quick text, see how they’re doing, or at what time will they get off work.
“It shows genuine concern for one another. Sometimes we get lost in our own worlds with work and everything else going on, so being intentional with checking in will be very helpful (Montigus Jackson, LMHC, CAMS).”
Surprise each other
Whatever you do, never stop flirting with your partner.
“Surprise your partner with flowers, a card, balloons, or candy on a day that’s not a special occasion. This works because it shows your partner that you’re in love as much as you used to be.”
Hear each other out
No matter how long you have been together, you can’t read each other’s mind. Don’t jump to conclusions or assume things, since doing this will only result in misunderstandings.
“They still have their own unique perspective on everything and unless you give them space to share it and are open and non-judging, you will not really see, hear, and understand them (Kathy Taberner MA, PCC, a certified executive coach).
Share your concerns
Discuss what makes you uncomfortable, or whatever it is that’s bothering you: Do you feel unsatisfied or unheard? Are you often misunderstood? What do you want to improve in your relationship and why?
“It is essential that you are able to tell your partner what you need or voice discomfort. If you are not able to communicate openly and honestly, there is potential for negative feelings to build up and come out sideways (Issa)”.
Go to bed together
If you have different schedules, try managing your time in such a way that both of you go to bed together, at the same time. It’ll help you to be affectionate and you’ll be able to share things with each other.
“Decide on a bedtime (Madden),” and turn off your smartphone or any other electronic devices and make it all about the two of you.
Do chores together
Doing simple chores together such as laundry washing, folding, grocery shopping, cooking, washing dishes can bring you a new vibe into your relationship since you’ll be able to spend some time together and connect more often.
“Not only will you accomplish tasks on the chore list, you’ll also be able to spend more time with your partner chatting about life, dreams or goals, developing a deeper connection, and strengthening your relationship (Cosgrove)”.
Write each other cute notes
Switch things up by writing sweet, cute notes to your partner and then hiding them in their jacket, or their favorite book. You may wrap their favorite candy bars in sweet, playful notes.
“This gesture will keep your partner thinking about you all day without letting the relationship slip through the cracks of everyday life tasks (Yuhas).”
It’s okay to not always feel in love but you can always go back to a new, passionate relationship with a few simple changes. These changes may seem insignificant but they’ll surely bring a new vibe into your relationship.
Try them for yourselves.